Please Stop.

i'm getting a little tired of everyone bitching and moaning and stuff about school. I used too when I was in school, all the time! But here’s the thing you don’t realize…..School is temporary, it’s a lot of work!!!  yes! however, with school there’s a bit more freedom.

You are allowed to have mental health days, you are allowed to ask for help with things, you are learning new things, you are allowed vacations winter, spring, summer. You are allowed to get things discounted with lots of stuff!, you may even be entitled to money itself, you are allowed to go to a ”gym” for free, you are allowed to buy lunch or get it for free, you are allowed to hang out with friends, you are guaranteed 2-maybe a day more off even holidays, you can be offered free health if needed especially mental depending, you are allowed less responsibility it’s all choice, you are allowed to sit on your ass for so many hours in a day. If you’re being bullied or hurt mentally you are allowed to tell, you are allowed to change schools.

When you’re out ”working” whether its your dream career or a job you need you do not get these^^.

You are not allowed a mental health day..unless you can afford it and which in this age you can’t You are allowed to ask for help but only so many times..the employer will then start to think you can’t do the job, you are allowed vacations but after working a year or two straight, You do not get things discounted if you work for a certain company it may depend, There are no ”here” money hand outs especially from aids at that point you need to qualify unless your parents are still helping you, You don’t get to have an hour of free gym time you have to make the time and pay like $30 a month for it, if you have a gym where you live…good for you, you are allowed to have a lunch but only if you work 5 hours or more a day and most likely you have to bring it or buy, You aren’t allowed to chit chat with friends or even co workers sometimes you probably aren’t even at the same job as them so social life is out, You aren’t always guaranteed 2 days off even holidays! You are not offered free health now adays jobs won’t even give you benefits unless you prove to them you can work 40-50 hours a week. Basically exhausting you to the point of a mental break and you have nothing, There is no less responsibility! you need to work to pay for every single solitary thing and pray that you make enough, you do not get to sit down for so many hours if youre at an office job you’d want to move around but regular jobs you’re on your feet all day dealing with demanding people.  Guess what? there will probably be bullies at your job too I’ve dealt with many of them! even my ex-boss and you are allowed to tell but it may cost you your job. You are allowed to change jobs but it will cost you time and money you won’t have for a while.

I didn’t realize any of this until I graduated. School is really hard for people I understand that, School doesn’t prepare you for any of this^^^stuff I just mentioned. But, it’s not forever a job, a career that is basically  forever. it’s harder and harder to be an adult now. Employers do not care if you’re sick, you don’t understand things, mentally drained, stressed, tired, hungry, cold, hot, sore, have no way of getting to work, and the best one yet if you’re going to school while working most employers do not care if you’re juggling! They want your time and work, don’t care if you need more hours or possibly less. etc etc etc..if you get a good employer then kudos! stick with the job if you like it! but this is reality…Don’t be in such a rush to become an adult unless you know you’ve got all your shit together…which you may think you do until life knocks you off your horse.

School really isn’t so bad..not all of it.

Honestly, Make the most of it.

Learning

Living with someone is an adjustment if you've never done it before. I've lived with my parents and brother my entire existence. Out of nowhere I now am going to be a wife. Living with a male other than the two I've known my entire life is different. You learn to love that person flaws and all and you learn how to except them, grow with them, fix them or adapt.

I'm very good at adapting to things I've had to do that most of my life. When a man's flaws aren't terrible and are something you can live with it's not so bad. I must not forget this is still new. We are both in this together and learning how things work. I'm trying not to over think details that do not exist.

Why do we let ourselves be consumed by pure evil thoughts? By things that are not of God? Tonight, I asked him something that made him feel like I'm not trusting..I am.....but I'm not . I go off other people's experiences, my past and some other people's present. I do not live in the now. I do not live with a day by day strategy.

There are things you learn about each other in the process of this whole thing. "Dating" is such a cover up story to some couples I think. A lot of people don't want to marry or move in, I think because then you would be not only limiting yourself blah blah but you must show that person who you are. You become vulnerable to the next extreme. At risk of being murdered emotionally, mentally and sending your heart into the meat grinder.

I told myself I would never find anyone to tolerate me. I told myself I was meant for the cat world, I told myself so many things that just weren't true. I spoke to the lord and I asked him I said look, when you find the guy for me let me know I don't need this.

I was stuck for a long time. Until the lord sent him to me. I saw past a lot of his flaws and things I didn't know I could love about a person. He has kinks but who doesn't? Rome wasn't built in a day and no one is perfect. I keep forgetting. The one thing about us two is that from the beginning we didn't put on a show for each other we said take it or leave it. I took it, He took it. I have faith It needs to be stronger.

I will pray for the strength to not look at what other's look at. Looking at the heart, the heart is full of love. I need to stop wanting things in return. Love does not expect wage.

Be careful what you think, your thoughts run your life. Proverbs 4:23 

 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Commit your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3